No Spray, No Lay!: Poetry of the Looky Looky Man

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No Spray No Lay was created by friends Kat Dobell and Lara Dunning after a night out at the ballet, a few wines and a run in with a pervy DJ. Sponsored by Bare Productions it plans to hit the Edinburgh Fringe in 2024. We were invited along to the preview/preparatory run last week in Edinburgh, with almost nine months to go to Fringe there’s bound to be refinements made but for now the cast are shining in this production that really captures the chaotic fun aura of a girls’ night out. It’s clear that there is a lot of love behind this production, from the nostalgia-fueled writing to the all-female presenting cast bringing these characters to life. The Welsh setting that is an integral part of the play is somewhat inconsistently evoked, but the direction of the piece (by Simpson again) is well considered and cleverly paced. There are undoubtedly some intriguing things about the play – not least the way that the dreaded undertaker who has set his cap at Matti is a definite presence despite remaining offstage. Ruth Harris shines as Laura’s pushover best friend Jane who begins the night too insecure to enjoy herself, but eventually lets go. Harris shows off stunning vocals and handles the audience participation aspect well, though Jane’s character arc could have used a little more nuance – currently it relies on her self-worth being fixed by having sex with a man (as hilarious and well-done as the onstage moment is it’s a little one-dimensional). The two-person ensemble might be an odd choice but works perfectly for the setting and are used effectively to support the main characters and add to the comedy. These lavatory attendants, as they are probably officially known, also offer a range of designer fragrances in the belief this may help male guests attract a mate for the night, and expect to be rewarded with a coin or two for their efforts. And they’re also supposed to make sure nobody does Class A drugs in the cubicles – unless you make friends with them in advance and offer them some. Apparently. The whole piece is great fun, performed with no little gusto and devilment, and oozes potential. There is plenty here to make the prospect of its development and return at EdFringe 2024 a welcome one.

Here are the cliches of night culture. The girl who won’t listen to her bestie’s advice that she is too good for the boy she is desperately clinging on to. The girl who thinks she is too hot to handle and her frumpy pal who is along to make her look good. The sweaty ravers. And the lightweight who had too much pre-club drink and spends the night slumped in a cubicle. No Davidoff Cool Water, no one's gonna want you to form a strong and loving relationship with them that eventually results in the creation of a daughter!" Hannah Childs is great fun as Laura, who is super-confident that everyone loves her and that she is the centre of all their worlds. Ruth Harris holds it all in, as her pal Jane – who largely seems to exist to hold Laura’s handbag.No Spray No Lay is a new original musical following the highs (some literal) and lows of a ladies’ club bathroom in 2005, complete with an all-female presenting cast, original bops and a sweaty glittery heap of nostalgia. Aftershave will definitely make women want to fellate you! Dose yourself in it! Feed me pound after pound!

They put up with a lot, from tirades over the extortionate price of their moisturiser, to the woes of crying drunk girls. So next time you’re in the club toilets, spare the the attendant from your rowdiness. Discover wonderful wildlife tours to book and experience in Scotland, including bird watching safaris, whale watching, farm tours and much more!

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The second piece, Doggies by Jean McConnell, has more of the air of an extended sketch, but the twenty minutes simply flies by. Simpson directs this time, and the pacing is spot on. real comic talent Quietly watching your every move, the toilet attendant knows you just hoisted those tights right up to to beneath your boobs. But hey, they aren’t there to judge. Ishbel Shand’s domineering mother, reluctant to let her innocent daughter marry, is pitched just right. Lynn Holmes gives daughter Matti an openhearted charm, while Judith Petrie is convincingly grounded as neighbour Edith. Murray Petrie turns in a fine comic performance as the ageing, hard-of-hearing ‘Dad’. cleverly paced No Spray No Lay has the potential to become the ultimate girls’ musical – boppy original tunes, an array of 2000s outfits, and a display of some of the most universal yet often private aspects of the female experience. One to keep a glitter-shadowed eye on! No spray, no lay” – awesomely, they have even been known to do this to the theme of Hot Hot Hot (Ole ole, ole ole), culminating in “freshen up, up, up!”).